Batteries (Not) Included

Observations:
Few animals are more destructive than a bored Labrador…except maybe a bored Labrador with extensive training as a Service Dog. Lately, Traz is picking up anything he can get his muzzle on. This all started with pillows, then progressed to towels, then blankets, then couch cushions; he will pick up anything soft and carry it around. Last week, however, Traz took up an interest in electronics.

While Cindy was getting ready for work, Traz helped himself to the DVD remote control that was sitting on the end table. Since Traz is a team player, he naturally brought the remote over to Embry, who never misses an opportunity to chew on something. All the way upstairs, Cindy heard the crunching of Labrador teeth on plastic, at which point she ran downstairs to find Embry in the dog bed, feverishly chomping away at the remote. All of the remote controls were moved to higher ground, the appropriate amount of scolding took place, Labradors were placed in Dog Jail, and Cindy went off to work…situation normal. That is, until later that day when we both realized there were no longer batteries in the remote.

For those of you wondering just how toxic AAA batteries are to dogs, the answer is…I don’t really know. There is a surprisingly small amount of information provided by The Google, other than links to discussion boards filled with people asking the same question. Most small-cell batteries are composed of zinc and are non-acidic (remember: they are alkaline). When ingested, the metal shards pose a greater threat than the chemicals. BUT, you do have to worry about things like the number of batteries eaten by the dog, whether or not they are passing through versus getting lodged somewhere in the digestive tract, if they are the “copper top” (copper is highly corrosive in the stomach), etc. Thankfully, we have a wonderful relationship with our vet, so we erred on the side of caution and took them all in for x-rays.

The result? No batteries in any of them. Traz and Embry both had diarrhea with traces of blood, however, so they were put on Carafate (which is the standard treatment for dogs who have eaten batteries; it coats the stomach), and Traz was put on Tagamet to counter-act the acid. I spent the next two days diligently searching through their piles in the backyard in search of battery parts. Yes, I know… I have all the fun.

On Saturday, I once again went on the battery hunt, retracing our previous search and leaving no pile of dog hair unturned. I found the batteries under the stove. They were all the way against the wall, behind an embarrassingly large pile of dog hair, and underneath a baking pan that had fallen out of the drawer…which is why we didn’t see them the first time we looked. Batteries retrieved, tumbleweeds of hair vacuumed, dogs switched to Metronidozal to clear up diarrhea, money transferred into checking account to satisfy large, unexpected vet bill, peace and relative order restored to the household.

That is, until Embry started barking at Traz like a hyena hopped up on happy dust…

Number of Days Without an Accident: Zero

Today, I'm Bleeding From: The back of my wrist

Today’s Haiku:
I like to eat sticks.
I also like to eat mulch.
Oh, look! I just peed.


Current Interests:
I’ve noticed a recurring pattern in these writings; everything seems to be about peeing, pooping, throwing up, and/or biting. I guess I need to come up with something new to talk about, such as the long-term effects of the bail-out packages on our socio-economic infrastructure. Or, perhaps a well-referenced dissertation on the importance of affordable health care in the United States. I’ve also pondered the impact of our continued outsourcing of American products and services to the point where we’ve all but become consumers versus producers, and I’m creating data models as to what our country’s GNP will look like in the year 2015. There are lots of relevant, idealistic topics that peak my interest. But, hey – I’m just a dog. I like to sniff butts and eat dirt.

I also really like teeth…though I think I may have mentioned that a few times already.

The Other Dogs are Currently:
Darcy............ “I’m so over this whole puppy thing.”
Sophie........... “If you come near my food, you will become my food.”
Tank Man....... “Good luck catching me, short stuff.”
Traz.............. “Whoa! What’s with you latching onto my tail?! Not cool!”

March Madness

Observations:
The warmer weather is always an interesting time with our dogs. Depending on the dog, they want to be outside so they can:
a) sniff every square inch of the yard in search of something she may have missed yesterday
b) dig holes
c) pick up sticks, then run by and stab you in the leg with them
d) play fetch with the woobie
e) lie in the sun like an alligator

On the plus side, all this time outdoors is helping wear Embry out. In turn, she no longer barks and cries at 5:00 in the morning. Lately, I’ve been able to sleep in until she starts screaming at 5:30. Hey, we take the small victories as we get them!

Embry is back on antibiotics due to another UTI. This time, it’s the old standby: Cephalexin. With this being her third bout with a UTI, we were obviously concerned, but our vet assured us this is not uncommon with female puppies during housebreaking. Now if only her puppy teeth would fall out…

Our little porkletta is up to 25 pounds and now eats like a Labrador. It always impresses me how something that little can suck down a cup and a half of food in about two minutes. By the time I have the food ready for the other dogs, she is sitting in her crate, staring at me, as if saying, “Ok…now what? Where’s the rest of it?!” She is starving.

Not much else to report from Embry’s world. Still waiting to get past the bitter chocolate and start enjoying the sweet part…

Number of Days Without an Accident: Zero

Today, I'm Bleeding From: Two of my fingers.

Today’s Haiku:
Please let me inside.
I want to pee in the house
Not out where I play!

Current Interests:
My owners are really starting to aggravate me with these steps. I don’t mind going up the steps, but I’m not coordinated enough to navigate down them. This little game they keep playing where they set me down on the steps so they can hear me bark in frustration is humiliating. I don’t see where they get so much amusement from my struggles, but they stand there and laugh while I screech like a howler monkey. But I’ll have my revenge…typically in the hardest-to-reach corners of the carpet.

I’ve also discovered the potency of my LabraGas. This newfound superpower is effective at distances of over five feet, and is thick enough to deserve its own Crayola crayon color. When one of the neighbor girls was over to visit, I unleashed just a small, inaudible pocket of perfumatory unpleasantness, yet it was enough to stop her in mid-sentence and send her running into the other room in the midst of olfactive irritation. I have to remember that one…I’m sure it will come in handy some day.

I also really like teeth. Teeth can be used to pull things off the couch, such as pillows, blankets and my dad’s fingers. Teeth can also be used to tenderize various body parts, such as hands, forearms, noses, ears, ankles, toes (LOVE toes!), feet, and…well…whatever else I can get them into. I like teeth. I think I shall use them even more often.

The Other Dogs are Currently:
Darcy........ "Is it grown up yet?! How about now? Now?!"
Sophie....... "You’ve obviously mistaken my indifference for acceptance. WRONG!"
Tank Man... *ahhh* "I love my dog beds…"
Traz.......... "This is how you dig a hole: right paw, left paw…repeat. Got it?"

Rabbit Poop

Observations:
On Wednesday, the youngest of the neighbor girls came over to play with Embry as I was hosing out the crate in the driveway.
“Can I play with the dogs since they are outside?”
"Ummmm...”, I said hesitantly. “You might want to come back a little later, after Embry has a bath."
“Is she dirty?”
“Yes…she is dirty.”

At that point, she walked over to the fence and looked at Embry.
“Did Embry roll in the mud?”
“Ummm…Yes. Yes, she did. That's exactly what it is. Embry rolled in the mud...which is why she needs a bath.”

At some point during the afternoon, Embry pooped in her crate. While it may not have been an overly sizable deposit, it became considerably larger after she jumped and rolled around in it. When she gets very excited, she jumps up and down in her crate, frequently to the point of losing her balance and falling. And when there is poop in the crate— well, you get the idea. Needless to describe any further, our chocolate puppy was extra chocolate-covered.

Kelsey was slightly older when she did the same thing, but the result (and, for that matter, the towel we used) were the same. When Kelsey did it, we were on our way to pick up some tickets from our friend Hugh, trying to get there before he closed up for the day. I tossed Kelsey in the back of the truck, rolled down the windows, and sped downtown. Once there, Hugh wanted to see the “cute, new puppy”. I apparently had a momentary memory lapse, as I forgot Kelsey was covered in poop…until I got her out of the truck and she immediately leapt onto Hugh, leaving two little, brown pawprints on his pants. To his credit, Hugh’s only response was, “She is so cute…but I think she needs a bath.” Sorry, man!

The other notable event this week involved the dogs dismembering a yummy, fluffy bunny. No, not a toy bunny or a Playboy bunny; an actual, wild, previously fur-covered bunny…that was stupid enough to build a nest inside the fenced-in yard. If I were a marginally intelligent bunny, I would have built my nest under the shed, or perhaps not in the yard inhabited by several dogs. And if I was a fearless, yet dim-witted bunny inclined to take up residence within said yard, I certainly would not dig a hole out in the open, underneath the pine tree, in the high-traffic area just outside the door. Alas, Natural Selection took its course. By the time we discovered the rabbit-resembling remnants, all we found were a few tufts of fur and the afore-mentioned hole beneath the tree. This does not bode well for a Happy Easter this year.

Number of Days Without an Accident: Zero

Today, I'm Bleeding From: My forearm(s).

Embry's Haiku of the Day:
‘lo, I shall pee here.
The carpet is as good as
Any other place.

Current Interests:
I really like this yard! The yard is full of interesting things to eat, such as sticks, leaves, grass, bulbs, mulch, and – every once in awhile – fresh rabbit. Every day is like my first time adventuring in unknown territory. Granted, I still do not like the bothersome steps I have to navigate in order to get into the yard, but somebody will carry me down there if I bark and get upset enough.

Once I’m in the yard, watch out: I can run with the big dogs! It’s not a fair race because their legs are three times as long as mine, but I’ll hold my own soon enough. I just throw my ears back, hold my head up, and run as fast and as hard as my little legs will take me. I actually ran too fast the other day and went tumbling over myself, but luckily nobody saw that… I like the yard. I think I will explore it more often.

I also really like teeth. Teeth can be used to drag the blanket out of my crate. Teeth can also be used to remove skin from body parts. And to tenderize both humans and animals. And to hold things in my mouth, such as shirts, pants, socks, and shoestrings. And pajama bottoms (LOVE pajama bottoms). And paper towels. And other dogs. And little children. I like teeth. I think I shall use them even more often.

Come to think of it, I think I like to pee even more than I like teeth. The amount of pee I can generate per capita is really quite impressive. I can be outside for an hour, peeing every ten minutes, then come inside and pee on the carpet. I can go outside, pee, come right back in, and pee again. I can be asleep in my crate for hours, then walk out and pee. I can pee, walk around the corner into the kitchen, and pee some more. Then, as someone is cleaning up that mess, I can pee some more, preferably in the most difficult to reach corner of the family room. I like pee. I think I shall brew some more often.

The Other Dogs are Currently:
Darcy............ “Thou shalt not attempt to bite the hair on my ears.”
Sophie........... “Thou shalt not exist to me.”
Tank Man....... “Thou shalt not touch my woobie, for it is MY woobie.”
Traz.............. “Thou shall be flung when thine teeth latch upon thee.”

Holy Sit!

Observations:
For whatever reason, I assumed Embry would be housebroken before learning basic obedience commands. As it turns out, while we are nowhere near not peeing in the house, Embry now consistently sits on command. This is one good thing coming out of her being back on antibiotics for a mild infection: we took the opportunity to work with the Pill Pockets (which she loves) and turned it into training. After only two days, she had it down and sits when asked. Granted, this will all change when she gets a little older and starts deciding on her own when she feels like sitting, but we are enjoying it while it lasts.

The housebreaking, unfortunately, is still non-existent. No matter how long Embry is outside, she comes in the house and pees. Why? Because she can. And I think because she likes to. She is good at it. She has an unfathomable urine reserve. She can pee in the family room, then in the kitchen, then in Traz’s crate (which is still her toilette de choix). Maybe she pees like this because she is actually creating some sort of interstellar, astrological constellation; each puddle representing a point which when connected creates a galactic hieroglyphic. Perhaps tonight she used the carpet to create her representation of Canis Minor (or, judging by the number and sizes of the puddles, make that Canis Major), and the large pile of crap was her rather unflattering depiction of Sirius. Maybe if I had taken a few minutes to connect the lines between Embry’s deposits on the kitchen floor, I would have been left with an artistically abstract version of Leo Minor; a felonious aspiration from her still-burgeoning subconscious. And because we humans can not possibly comprehend the infinite intelligence of a Labrador Retriever, these intricate, complicated visions are beyond our ineffectual comprehension. Surely these pee-produced puppy pictorials must represent Embry’s higher intelligence and sophisticated mentality…right? Or, it could just be that she is obsessed with the water bowl and has a bladder the size of a walnut.

Number of Days Without an Accident: Zero

Today, I'm Bleeding From: Both thumbs.

Number of New Holes in the Chair Fabric: 16


Current Interests:
Today, I shall write a haiku…

It is fun to pee.
I like when you step in it,
Hopefully barefoot.

Peeing is fun. I’ve learned how to strategically place my puddles for maximum inconvenience of cleanup. Last night, for instance, I peed down the register. Now, every time the furnace kicks on, it’s like a breath of fresh air…from behind a port-a-let. I’ve also managed to pee under the chairs, on the rug under the water bowl, in the corner against the wall; I’m enjoying this newfound challenge. My favorite part is the bemused looks on my owner’s faces when they step in the wet spots.

I also really like teeth. Teeth can be used to chew holes in the sleeves of sweatshirts. And the hoods of sweatshirts. And to latch onto the zippers of sweatshirts. And thumbs (LOVE thumbs). And Traz’s collar. And socks. And the wide variety of vegetation available outside: grass, leaves, sticks, plants, shrubs, branches, pinecones, mulch – it’s like every place I look there is something new to cut my teeth on. I like teeth. I think I shall use them even more often.

The Other Dogs are Currently:
Darcy............"Hey, do I smell pizza?! Do I get pizza? I like pizza! Yay, pizza!"
Sophie..........."Mere humans have not yet begun to feel the wrath of my gas."
Tank Man......."Oops, I stepped on it again. Accidentally. Honest. Really."
Traz.............."I like humping mommy. Mommy-humping is fun!"

This Bites

Observations:
There was a time, not so long ago, when this puppy was sweet. She would lie in our laps, staring up at us adoringly until falling asleep. She would curl up next to us on the couch for hours. She would lick our faces and let us rub her belly.

And now, she just bites.

When we get home, she is excited to see us…then she bites. In the morning, I let her out of the crate…and she bites. When she rolls on her back and we rub her belly, she bites. She bites fingers, hands, wrists, and arms. She latches onto shirt sleeves, pant legs, pajama bottoms, the underside of the chair, the couch, the curtains, and the woodwork. Her jaws unhinge, then snap shut, clamping around objects much like a small, chocolate, furry alligator. All of this is great fun to her. To the rest of us…not so much. Even Traz seems to be running low on patience, opting to play with Sophie and Tank instead of walking around with a Labradorian pilot fish hanging from his neck.

This is not to say we do not love our little barracuda. She is still very cute and highly amusing, especially when she thunders across the room with a bone the size of her body wedged in her mouth. We keep expecting her to hit her growth spurt any day, as she is still only slightly larger than when we brought her home. Of course, since we see her every day, I’m sure she is larger than she appears, but we still wonder when our little girl is going to start growing. This is primarily for selfish reasons because we are tired of pulling her out from under the chair as if extracting a moray eel from its sandy burrow (…all the while being bitten).

All aquatic metaphors aside… Other than the biting, the only other frustration is the house-breaking (or lack thereof). Embry has apparently decided that Traz’s crate makes a better bathroom than outside. This morning, when I opened the door, she went halfway out, then spun around and ran into Traz’s crate, immediately depositing a large helping of chocolate soft-serve. After all, the outside is for playing; we shalt not soil our playground!

We also need to start limiting access to the water bowl. Originally, Embry was given water in her own little, glass dish. This worked for about three days, until Traz decided the little, glass dish should be picked up and carried. So, we began using a larger bowl. Traz decided the larger bowl was even better, as it held more water and made a bigger mess when picked up and carried. To solve this problem, we moved the giant, "community" water dish into the kitchen for all to partake. Embry loves this. In fact, she loves this every five minutes, whether she is thirsty or not. She loves sticking her nose in the water, then her paws in the water, then actually drinks every once in awhile. Then she pees. Wash, rinse, repeat. This ritual takes places approximately every five to six minutes, or whenever she is not biting.

Thankfully, the other dogs have reached the Peaceful Acceptance stage, so the baby gates are down. Darcy just ignores Embry, who ultimately gives up and tries one of the other dogs. Tank is fine, aside from the occasional growl when Embry has something he wants. Traz is a Godsend, suffering all of the teeth-induced bloodshed that would be directly solely at us if he weren’t around. Sophie continues to give looks of pure, unadulterated hate, but no longer tries to make puppy pâté.

As our fourth week with Embry comes to a close, we continue reflecting on all of the joyfulness and entertainment she has brought into our lives. We do this while counting the fresh scars and teeth marks on our various body parts. But, hey – she is cute!

Number of Days Without an Accident: Zero

Today, I'm Bleeding From: My forearm.

Number of Leaves Eaten Today: Two, plus several ounces of tree bark.


Current Interests:
I hate my collar. I was going along just fine before they stuck this thing around my neck. As hard as I try and as often as I scratch, I just can’t get rid of it. Plus, when somebody grabs me by the collar, I can’t reach them with my teeth, nor can I squirm away under the chair. I’m not at all happy that my parents are beginning to introduce rules and boundaries. This here puppy is a free spirit! I like my unregulated lifestyle!

I also really like teeth. Teeth can be used to chew holes in the side of the chair. And the couch. And the carpet. And towels. And rugs. And the little rubber stoppers on the sides of the baby gates. And the island in the kitchen. And toes (LOVE toes!). I like teeth. I think I shall use them even more often.

The Other Dogs are Currently:
Darcy............ *yawn*
Sophie..........."Just because it’s here doesn’t mean I’ll like it. Ever."
Tank Man......."Oops, I stepped on it. Oops, I stepped on it again. Oops…"
Traz.............."Dude, you ever heard of personal space?!"

Damnit!

Observations:

In a word: “Ouch!!!”

We’ve entered the dreaded biting phase of puppyhood, as our little Labrador/Badger/Rattlesnake/Velociraptor has adopted a taste for human flesh. I’m about ready to start walking around with a bone or a rope in my pocket so that as soon as she lunges and strikes at my hands, I can stuff a toy in her mouth. Gone already are the days of our sleepily sweet puppy, who would fall recline upside down in your lap while you rubbed her hairless, pink belly. Here instead is the meat tenderizer, the little chocolate puppy who prefers fingers and toes to Kongs and tennis balls.

This morning, for example, Embry was on the bed, seemingly charming and ready to snuggle and nap. She crawled up to me, tail wagging, almond-shaped eyes glistening in the early morning sunlight. But then, in the amount of time it took me to yawn and focus my sleep-deprived vision, Embry coiled and launched herself directly at my face. Luckily, my cat-like reflexes enabled me to engage the pillow shield and roll out of the line of fire. During the scolding that ensued, she managed to latch herself onto my thumb, leaving four distinct teeth-like indentations.

We had a similar incident the other morning when Embry discovered pinecones. While we were out in the yard (…at 4:30am…), she grabbed a small pinecone and began thundering across the yard. When I caught her and removed said pinecone from her tightly-clasped palate, she became visibly aggravated with me, juking left to right and growling with as much ferociousness as a 10-week-old Labrador can muster. When I chuckled at her supposed animosity and turned to walk back into the house, however, Embry latched herself onto the back of my leg and violently shook her almost 11 pounds in a furious rage. The result of her efforts was a small hole in the leg of my pajamas…and a time out in her crate.

On the other hand, we spent all weekend sans baby gates. Sophie has apparently come to terms with the puppy staying, so she has stopped willing it to be gone. I wouldn’t go so far as to say she “likes” Embry, but she has at least stopped trying to eat her. If she gets tired of the puppy, she walks away and jumps onto the couch…or, if we aren’t looking, onto the chair. The same goes for Darcy. As long as Embry keeps her distance and doesn’t bite Darcy’s tail, everyone exists within relatively peaceful acceptance. Not bad for only a few weeks. This is a difficult adjustment for older dogs and I’m thrilled with how they’ve come around.

Especially Darcy, whose vestibular disease made an unwelcome return on Thursday. It’s a scary thing to see her suddenly dizzy, stumbling, and seemingly incoherent. Quite literally, she is fine one minute, then awkwardly faltering the next. After spending the night at the vet, a shot of Prednisone, a dose of Meclizine, and a few rounds of Cerenia (the miracle anti-nausea drug for dogs), she is on the road to recovery. It usually takes one to two weeks to get back to “normal”, which is to say the dog learns how to adjust to the affliction. It’s a sober reminder that she is 15 years old.

But my money is still on her if you ever mess with her feet…

Number of Days Without an Accident: Zero

Today, I'm Bleeding From: My thumb and my wrist.

Number of Leaves Eaten Today: None, plus one pinecone.

Current Interests:
I’m not too thrilled about no longer getting lunch. Now, I apparently only get breakfast and dinner, which is somewhat uncool. These people have not yet learned that you don’t mess with a Labrador’s food! We like routine. We like large amounts of food. We like large amounts of food provided routinely, preferably with a large side order of more food. I like the fact that I can keep stuffing an impressive amount of food into my gullet. I’m sure this will come in handy some day when somebody forgets to close the pantry door.

I think I’ve finally figured out the Yellow Dog. As long as I keep at least two feet between us, she doesn’t growl and show me her giant teeth. Now that we are nearing the peaceful acceptance stage of our relationship, there are no baby gates, which leaves a longer runway for me to thunder through the downstairs. More importantly, the extra space gives me more variety in terms of places to pee…which I still like to do often.

I also really like teeth. Teeth can be used to chew on upholstery and table legs. And thumbs. And blankets. And the plastic stuff inside the dishwasher. And the metal pieces on the bottom of the refrigerator. And the side of the island in the kitchen. And toes (LOVE toes!). And pinecones. I like teeth. I think I shall use them even more often.

The Other Dogs are Currently:
Darcy............*mmm* “All this chicken makes it almost worth getting sick.”
Sophie..........."I’m going to barf a huge pile of crap on the floor.”
Tank Man.......*hehe* “Watch what it does when I growl at it…”
Traz.............."Dog Jail sucks."

Six More Weeks of Winter

Observations:
We thought yesterday was finally going to be the day that Sophie stopped hating the puppy. After we both got home from work, Sophie was in the kitchen, wagging her tail, acting atypically happy. When Embry got within a few feet of her, she did not growl or snarl. Instead, she dropped to the floor with her butt in the air, as if she was going to play. Much praising of the Yellow Dog ensued.

Unfortunately, it was short-lived. After a few minutes, Sophie lost interest and decided puppies are better for eating than for playing with. Oh, well…we’ll get there.

We’ve regressed a bit with the stairs, as Embry no longer seems interested in climbing up or down. I don’t want to force her, so I’m waiting until she is a bit bigger before we revisit the steps. Besides – it’s nice that we can put her on the deck without fear of her going anywhere…for now. Otherwise, she is still very confident, almost fearless. When the other dogs growl at her, she gets submissive and rolls onto her back, tongue flailing, but she does not run away and cower. When Traz and Tank thunder back and forth through the family room, she is right in the mix, weaving in and out of their legs. Makes us nervous because we think she is going to get trampled, but she is fairly nimble and very resilient.

Embry has only been scolded once over the past few days because of her biting, so I hope she is getting the hang of it. When we were sitting on the floor during one of our early morning play sessions, I saw her roll back on her haunches, then launch herself at me. Luckily, I saw it coming and was able to (mostly) dodge the exposed fangs of Demon Puppy, but she did knick my bottom lip. I grabbed her by the scruff, told her no, then put her in the crate. I’m sure she had no idea what she did wrong, as she just sat there with that innocently blank puppy look. I’m hoping it was only a one-time occurrence.

Number of Days Without an Accident: Zero *sigh*

Today, I'm Bleeding From: My forearm.

Number of Leaves Eaten Today: None.

Current Interests:
It was sunny and warmer the past few days. This morning, however, was extremely cold on my naughty bits! What gives?! No way was I going to squat on a semi-frozen, snow-dusted deck when I could just as easily pee on a nice warm carpet. It’s also easier just to go in Traz Dog’s crate and hose it down while he isn’t looking. Sure beats going out in the cold.

I think something is stalking me, but I can’t catch it. I’ll be sitting there minding my own business, when something under the blanket suddenly starts moving. I pounce on it and start digging frantically, but whatever it is disappears. After I sit and wait for a few minutes, it comes back and makes little scratching noises…so I pounce again, and again it goes away. I’ve even tried pulling the blankets back with my paws and my teeth, but there is never anything underneath. When I look up at my mom and dad, they act like they didn’t see a thing and just laugh at me. I don’t get it… What is this little creature that continues to taunt me? Why can’t I dig it out from underneath the blanket? Why does the Yellow Dog act like she likes me for a fleeting moment, only to turn around and try to eat me a second later? I’m trying very hard to like her.

I also really like teeth. Teeth can be used to chew on people’s chins. And fingers. And ears. And hair. And ankles. And forearms. And wrists. And feet. And toes (LOVE toes!). And little tumbleweeds of dog hair. I like teeth. I think I shall use them more often.

The Other Dogs are Currently:
Darcy............"Whatever…a dog is a dog. I know I’m still the favorite.”
Sophie..........."My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?"
Tank Man......."I’ll be in the dog bed if you need me.”
Traz.............."Now, you wait here while I get the food off the counter."