Holy Sit!

Observations:
For whatever reason, I assumed Embry would be housebroken before learning basic obedience commands. As it turns out, while we are nowhere near not peeing in the house, Embry now consistently sits on command. This is one good thing coming out of her being back on antibiotics for a mild infection: we took the opportunity to work with the Pill Pockets (which she loves) and turned it into training. After only two days, she had it down and sits when asked. Granted, this will all change when she gets a little older and starts deciding on her own when she feels like sitting, but we are enjoying it while it lasts.

The housebreaking, unfortunately, is still non-existent. No matter how long Embry is outside, she comes in the house and pees. Why? Because she can. And I think because she likes to. She is good at it. She has an unfathomable urine reserve. She can pee in the family room, then in the kitchen, then in Traz’s crate (which is still her toilette de choix). Maybe she pees like this because she is actually creating some sort of interstellar, astrological constellation; each puddle representing a point which when connected creates a galactic hieroglyphic. Perhaps tonight she used the carpet to create her representation of Canis Minor (or, judging by the number and sizes of the puddles, make that Canis Major), and the large pile of crap was her rather unflattering depiction of Sirius. Maybe if I had taken a few minutes to connect the lines between Embry’s deposits on the kitchen floor, I would have been left with an artistically abstract version of Leo Minor; a felonious aspiration from her still-burgeoning subconscious. And because we humans can not possibly comprehend the infinite intelligence of a Labrador Retriever, these intricate, complicated visions are beyond our ineffectual comprehension. Surely these pee-produced puppy pictorials must represent Embry’s higher intelligence and sophisticated mentality…right? Or, it could just be that she is obsessed with the water bowl and has a bladder the size of a walnut.

Number of Days Without an Accident: Zero

Today, I'm Bleeding From: Both thumbs.

Number of New Holes in the Chair Fabric: 16


Current Interests:
Today, I shall write a haiku…

It is fun to pee.
I like when you step in it,
Hopefully barefoot.

Peeing is fun. I’ve learned how to strategically place my puddles for maximum inconvenience of cleanup. Last night, for instance, I peed down the register. Now, every time the furnace kicks on, it’s like a breath of fresh air…from behind a port-a-let. I’ve also managed to pee under the chairs, on the rug under the water bowl, in the corner against the wall; I’m enjoying this newfound challenge. My favorite part is the bemused looks on my owner’s faces when they step in the wet spots.

I also really like teeth. Teeth can be used to chew holes in the sleeves of sweatshirts. And the hoods of sweatshirts. And to latch onto the zippers of sweatshirts. And thumbs (LOVE thumbs). And Traz’s collar. And socks. And the wide variety of vegetation available outside: grass, leaves, sticks, plants, shrubs, branches, pinecones, mulch – it’s like every place I look there is something new to cut my teeth on. I like teeth. I think I shall use them even more often.

The Other Dogs are Currently:
Darcy............"Hey, do I smell pizza?! Do I get pizza? I like pizza! Yay, pizza!"
Sophie..........."Mere humans have not yet begun to feel the wrath of my gas."
Tank Man......."Oops, I stepped on it again. Accidentally. Honest. Really."
Traz.............."I like humping mommy. Mommy-humping is fun!"